(Source: narcossis)

REMAIN CALM

when in doubt

SHUT UP

but i’m not always sure which order they go in

it’s EASY

like BREATHING

FOG EFFORTLESS

and 

        FROZEN

AND I’ll TAPE ME UP

Before anyone SEES

the EDGES.

I’ve always found it interesting

how strong scent-memory is

just one passing cloud of 

Old Spice

and I’m back where I started 

right there in your arms

getting used to your breath

Like air

            crisp and cool

it’s like

            freezing in the rain

            and not feeling pain

in your feet despite the sleet

washing wave after wave of wet warm water like walking through wheat fields and wearing to world.  Atlas would be proud

the way you stand like lightning

connected like synapses

connected like ligaments and pulling the bones of my fingers

            together

you stand like a forest in a hail storm and wave your branches

it’s like headaches

like earthquakes

            cause if I go to bed I’ll miss it

I’ll miss his smile and her yawn

I’ll miss the way his face looks when he gives in

It’s like too late

and if you hesitate

            I heard,

it’s my way

to smile fate

and I heard,

the sun shines out my freckles

and

it’s like air

like breathing ice

and dancing in dreams

and sleeping until sunset,

and missing nothing

it’s like the warm cushioned sting of red hot blood

boiling the tears in your eyes

and the way my heart beats synchronize with yours

            all across the star-struck, gold luck, goddamn fuck

the whole damn world.

and I know nothing about you

it’s like watching lovers be happy

and like some one speaking the silent embers

            I buried away like cursed pirate gold

            turning your fingers to dust and your eyes

to waterfalls

all that calls my mind to this moment.

the moment just before you speak

the microphone perched like lover’s lips, waiting to be touched

like the first raindrop of the monsoon waiting to be flushed

            brighter than roses and deeper than the conversation you start at 3 am

the moment just before you jump, swooping like gravity into the star studded, red blooded abyss of words

the moment you seal yourself

frozen and exploding with everything in the world.

        is the moment I forget my lungs and they forget my heart and

my heart’s blind and all I’ve got is my eyes and ears pulling me forward in my chair

till I slip off the edge and tumble like sand in the crash of your ocean

it’s the moment just before that.

the moment before you speak and I fall

the moment before I hit the wall

and the moment I fall in love.

it’s the last moment in the entire world,

galaxies die while you take that breath

and it’s the first moment of my entire life

you got words of light on a tongue of death

and I watch your eyes spin with the eternity of it all

and I step to the edge

and then I fall.

visiting home

            is like nothing’s changes

 

I’m squished like toothpaste on the couch

            warm as puppies in piles of shared sexual frustration

            laughing like hyenas

            eating like lions

 

and it feels like I shouldn’t ever be anywhere else

            wedged as if we were a puzzle god had shuffled together

dashing through the leaves

You are walking alone

            past me on a warm night in November

 

you are keeping company with your headphones

            I am sure you are smiling with the song

I can not tell what you are listening too

 

I know you but not enough to wave,

            just to recognize your face

            from the stageworld

I feel as though you shouldn’t be here,

            in mine.

 

But what really sells it

            what brings you from the lightlit brilliance of performance and people

to the cool, sweatshirts of sleepy loneliness of my world,

 

is the river of yellow leaves you trail your feet in.

            a small smile curls your lips

 

You are happy.

 

And I am happy to see the leaves swirl.

feeling the friction of fingers of

            graphite

                        crawling along the page

 

is like butterflies, fluttering along the insides of my fingers

they trace their blue lightning wings along the paper sky

and leave behind proof of my existence

 

there is something solid in the written

something stone and oak and simple

 

words on a wiry screen are quick and clear

            but the feeling of my butterfly fingers so ot

                        seep

            into the words

                        these feel like percussive rain drops

            leaving memories           

                        but drying in the sun

 

and I wonder how many words

I’ve left scratch

            on the edges of the world.

.